Flowers, décor, bridal gowns and the setting may make a wedding look beautiful, but music makes a wedding feel beautiful. Like the flowers in your bouquet, some memories of your wedding will fade, but you will never forget the way you felt when you took to the floor for your first dance together as man and wife, and the fun your guests had while they danced and partied the night away.

In full swing

A memorable music programme involves more than simply the quality or selection of music, but how that music is used. The right music at the right time adds that indefinable "feel-good" factor, and the emotion that makes a wedding memorable.

The first step is to make a wish list. Start by visualising your dream wedding, allowing yourself time to explore your own personal preferences, and considering lots of different options.

Like an absorbing movie, a skilfully orchestrated wedding has a meaningful opening with dramatic moments that build to a high point, as well as a happy ending. And just like the soundtrack to a movie (think Four Weddings and a Funeral) your music will be the greatest single influence on the emotional content and pacing of your wedding.

Start off by getting organised. Keep a notebook on hand for listing ideas, and keep a record of songs to be considered for each "scene", from the time the guests arrive at the reception to the first dance with your new husband. Jot down the titles of songs you like when you hear them, or when they occur to you.

Discussing your musical "script" and the order of events with your minister, organist and/or musicians well in advance will facilitate planning. If you are not using an organist, you may want to consider a soloist, choir, or symphony-style recorded music played from a good sound system.

It's vitally important to stay actively involved with the band or DJ of your choice in planning and decision-making. Even if you are only having a small wedding, write out the entire programme - the half hour or so you spend doing this will make all the difference!

When it comes to choosing your musicians, do your homework early, as popular musicians and groups are often booked up months in advance. Ask other wedding professionals you have hired for recommendations, as they can be a great source of information.

Set up a meeting and watch videos of their music before making your decision. You should be able to establish a rapport with the musicians or DJ, and like their style and manner.

If the setting is a church, then sacred, classical numbers played by an organist or sung by a soloist or choir are more appropriate. Listen to some CDs and make a selection of songs you find particularly meaningful. Ave Maria is an example of a song that never fails to move.

Time the length of the proceedings carefully so you know how many hymns to choose. You will need the music to last while guests are being seated and during the signing of the register. Although the actual number of hymns sung is up to you, two are generally sung during the course of the service, followed by an exit number in the form of a march.

Soundtrack for a celebration

It is a nice touch to have music playing to welcome guests while they arrive at the venue, especially if they will have to wait outside or in a foyer or enclosed veranda. You could always have some light live or recorded romantic music playing in the background while guests sip celebratory cocktails or a glass of sparkling wine.

Live music, like a string quartet or classical guitar, is a winner, especially during a daytime wedding, where soothing background music is called for. Piano music also hits just the right note, as it is extremely versatile and sounds wonderful on its own as well as in combination with other instruments or even a soloist. Formal evening weddings probably need something more upbeat than a classical ensemble, and a jazz band or professional DJ is a popular choice.

Music should be appropriate for the size and type of wedding and the average age group of the guests. A classical ensemble will not be suitable for a really large wedding because of the noise factor. As a guideline, a 10-piece orchestra will drown out a small wedding party, but will work perfectly if you are having hundreds of guests. A six-piece band works best with a list over 100.

Unless you are going for a specific theme - like the 60s, for example - you will be more likely to get guests up and dancing with a mix of old and new. The bandleader or DJ should know the tunes that make people want to get down and boogie, as well as good background music. To keep the dance floor alive during band breaks, find out if they will play taped music between sets and check that there is a facility for doing so.

No matter the style or theme of your wedding, make sure that the music doesn't intrude, especially early on when all the socialising is taking place. If dancing is planned for later on, the DJ or musicians must know when the time is right for the volume to be turned up. If the reception is being held at a venue that accommodates outside guests or in a quiet neighbourhood, the sound will have to be turned down later in the evening. Remember that music also needs to be varied - a party will soon die if the sounds are suited solely for those on the dance floor.

Category: General advice

Wedding monogram tips

Many brides find they can “roll their own” monogram using a software program, such as Microsoft Word or PowerPoint. If you're a graphic designer or have access to high-end tools, you'd probably prefer Adobe Illustrator, but Word or PowerPoint are also fine. If you've played around but don't like the results, call on an arty friend.